27
Dec
09

A Nightmare Before Christmas

Imagine, just like in the popular stop-motion animation movie, Santa Claus is kidnapped by some brats out to take over the Holiday Season. What to do, what to do? How to stop Jack o’ Lantern from committing the biggest crime against children?

But if you think the infamous pumpkin-head could destroy Christmas with all those scary Halloween stuff, the following could-be-Santas (God forbid!) could do far worse. Imagine if anime – characters from a country without deep-rooted Christmas tradition – take over the flying sleigh? Caution: Don’t let the children read this. It might bring them to tears.

Haruko Haruhara (FLCL)

Riding her yellow scooter, Santa Haruko would be scouring the world with her cool guitar…hitting children! By Christmas morning, Haruko would make sure every kid – good or bad – gets a good hit in the head. Unfortunately, most of them would probably boys. But the good thing is that they get a robot for a present!

Haruhi Suzumiya (Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)


After finding out that Santa Claus is true, this girl would probably do nothing during the entire Christmas season. She doesn’t like beings other than the supernatural, so why would she bother giving gifts to humans? She would probably just keep the gifts to sell everything for the benefit of her SOS club.

Ryoga Hibiki (Ranma ½)


Now Ryoga may be a nice kid who would probably be so excited to take the place of Santa. However, everyone knows how bad this boy can be with directions. Even if Rudolf could talk to him, this kid has deaf ears. Having no gift is worse than having a lousy one, right?

Sunako Nagahara (The Wallflower)


If Jack O’ Lantern was bad. Sunako is worse. That should be enough reason to stay away from this lady if she ever becomes a Santa.

Kyoya Ootori (Ouran High School Host Club)


Now this is one young man normal enough to be a Santa for a night. Nah, guess again! While Kyoya brings out the most wonderful gift for every child in the world, tugged in his arm would probably be a list of all the expenses he’s done for the parents to pay back. And everyone knows when this man wants something, he will get it.

Light Yagami (Death Note)


Naughty kids, beware! Enough said.

*****

Scared enough already? It gets worse with more and crazier anime characters appearing by the seasons. Good thing Santa’s completely fictional, huh? Don’t go telling the kids now…

Oh yeah, so are all these characters.

*****JHAJR*****


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20 something year-old otaku from the Philippines. I love making up articles around the topic of anime and would love to be a part of a local anime magazine and so I put up this blogzine to try to hone any writing skill I have. Also, the Pinoy anime community is in much need of help right now and so this is but a small contribution from me. Thank you for the support so far!

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